Hello guys! So if you have been following my blog, I recently uploaded a picture from my youth, and it was then I understood why I was n...
Hey guys! Sorry for being two blog posts behind, but I have been seriously busy. Since I last posted I have: Had a wedding party Chan...
Sorry for being two blog posts behind, but I have been seriously busy. Since I last posted I have:
- Had a wedding party
- Changed my job
- Went to Melbourne for a wedding (not ours)
So my tardiness in putting up blog posts is legit! Anyway, let me elaborate item one on my list of causes for my tardiness. As I was explaining some time earlier, James and I got legally married or "solemnised" last year, but it was a casual affair below our apartment with like, 7.5 people if you include my nephew.
And so we did. And here's how we did it.
Hey guys! So as you know, I'm old. I have a house, a husband, a long service award, I sleep a lot, and I also can talk about my horr...
So as you know, I'm old. I have a house, a husband, a long service award, I sleep a lot, and I also can talk about my horrific teenage years. Oh also, I tend to repeat myself a lot. I'M THAT OLD.
Also with age comes auntism (pronounced ahn-tee-ee-zm). And I'm quite auntie these days. But WAIT. Before you start imagining me with curled orangey hair and wearing some obiang flowery tent and haggling with the chicken seller over the price of this not so fresh piece of chicken, I need to clarify, that I'm not that kind of auntie.
Instead, I represent a new breed of aunties that will revolutionise the world. I don't take tupperwares to dabao all the leftover food from the buffet line, I don't go to Genting Highlands regularly to make use of the free stays that come with my casino membership, and I don't fight with other aunties over the freshest piece of fish in the market.
I like my food and shopping delivered to me, I don't like going to the same city repeatedly just to earn free stays, and I would rather hide in my bed than go out to fight over the what's left in the market. However, I, like all the other aunties out there, share the exact same traits - competitive, kiasu, savvy when it comes to finding cheap alternative for things I want. I am, THE NEXT-GEN AUNTIE.
Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updates last week but you know, I was busy prancing around in Hong Kong. So yes! I had a pretty good...
Hello guys! So I'm very old now. I have a house, and a husband (or almost husband) , and most recently, a long service award. Yeah, I ...
So I'm very old now. I have a house, and a husband (or almost husband), and most recently, a long service award. Yeah, I have been working for the same employer for more than 5 years. I'm, THAT OLD.
Hello guys! So many of you may know I'm like, mature and grown up now. I talk about old people things and can give you how-to guides...
So many of you may know I'm like, mature and grown up now. I talk about old people things and can give you how-to guides on anything from buying a house to how to maximise your leave at work. Not because I'm an expert at doing stuff like this of course. But because James and I were suddenly immersed in such situations and had to find a way of slowly clawing our way out.
Anyhow, maybe you think you've got the adulting thing all sorted out. You are now responsible and you know how to do lots of stuff that you previously didn't. I now know how to say "master bedroom" and "water filter" in Chinese. I would tell you that I have also learnt how to say "paint" in contractor slang, but that apparently is up for debate.
Hi guys! So you might know that, like many other people, I'm married but not really. It's that iffy time between your ROM and yo...
So you might know that, like many other people, I'm married but not really. It's that iffy time between your ROM and your actual wedding where you know, you don't know if you're married or not. Well, legally you are, but socially you are not because you haven't had your wedding and you don't want other people's stupid advice to get the wedding of their dreams.
Anyway! I'm supposed to do a blog post on how to get married by request of roboteatsgrannies, so I thought I'd cover everything like how it's chronologically supposed to be. I've already covered the my horrendous dating life pretty thoroughly up till the point I met James, who turned things around for me. And also proposed to me which makes me suspect that he might have brain damage, but that's a separate story altogether. So what typically happens after the engagement is THE HEN'S PARTY!
And Jac will share what you need in order to have to have one.
#1 A bride.So I don't understand why, but James decided to spend the rest of his life with me. I assume it's because of my charming personality.
Anyhow, James fell in love with me, decided that he wanted to be with me and my delightful self for the rest of his life, and proposed! So getting someone to propose to you is one challenge you have to overcome before you can have a Hen's Party.
#2 A good friend.Yeah so I have no idea why, but I do have friends. And extremely good friends! Like Marilyn. Marilyn's great. She's now based in Australia but one day, out of the blue...
And Ma's an awesome party planner. She asked me for a guest list with email addresses and, that's really all I had to do. She gave great advice too! Like...
#3 More good friends.Of course, although it is perfectly acceptable to have a bachelorette party with just you and that one good friend, it might look a bit sad. So what you need is more good friends to join you!
#4 Props.Marilyn dressed me up for the night. I had a sash, a maid's outfit, and A TIARA! I WAS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING PRINCESS MAID Y'ALL.
If you don't know how empowering they are, you should get one. It makes you.
#5 A Pole Dancing Class.My hen's party started out with a pole dancing class courtesy of Marilyn's organisation and The Brass Barre. And it was very fun and easy to follow - look how in sync we were!
#6 A Stripper.GUYS. I GOT A STRIPPER. MARILYN ORDERED ME A STRIPPER.
Sorry, no photos. But my friends had a wonderful time. They said he was an awesome dancer. NOT THAT I COULD TELL BECAUSE I WAS TRYING NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH HIS JUNK. But I am so proud of having a stripper ok. I have never had had a stripper before. I had a great stripper. Marilyn is very good for going through the effort of getting me a stripper.
Also Marilyn told me the Ang Moh strippers cost $100 more than the local strippers. But she got me a Chinese one because you know, I've got my Ang Moh fix sorted for the rest of my life.
#7 Alcohol.So while I was being given an extremely vigorous lap dance, I asked my stripper if I was the most awkward lap that he has ever danced with. And he said, in many words, "Yes." IN MY DEFENCE, I wasn't drunk and hadn't had any alcohol yet. It's very hard to be slutty and rub your hands over people when you're not inebriated.
Yeah Miley, I feel you. Alcohol is great! It gets everyone in the right mood and also helps you get through all the dares that your friends will inevitably make you do, including getting many many random guys in Loof to carry you.
And that was how my Hen's Party went! It was awesome, lots of fun, and you know, for a person who wasn't even planning on having a Hen's Night, I think I did extremely well!